I have been retired, medically, starting in September 26, 2006. So there was always a lot of time with little to do but I managed.
Two and a half years ago my BFF suffered two heart attacks. A week apart from another. Before that we'd get together and just hang out. Or go to a swap meet or two. With an occasional outing to College Billiards and have an evening of shooting pool.
Since that inauspicious time we have seen very little of each other. Which is what I said would happen. And have weathered my BFF's absence rather well.
(Most of my life was living in north San Diego County or north county. It was where, what few I had, my friends were at. But after moving to my present abode, 2 miles from the International Border with Mexico, I had one friend. My BFF).
Tonight while chatting on Kik I mentioned what happened to my BFF. Than it hit me. The full weight of my loneliness. I have felt loneliness in the past but nothing like what came over me. It is a feeling which I have never felt before. Not like my feelings of loneliness that I've felt before. There is a complete lack of words in me to try and explain this loneliness.
The only way to articulate what the feeling...
Like, my entire essences of my being just floated away from my body. Leaving just but a shell of a being.
My conversation on Kik came to a complete halt. I was at a lose as to what to do with myself. (I each day try to do something with my time instead of being idle).
Typing out this blog post has help. But the loneliness is hard to shake.
Sheilah Say
Post Script: This morning I woke up and realized I am not entirely without a friend. There is Jasmine. Jasmine is a Bull Terrier who will always give me her unwavering friendship.
But even this will be fleeting.
June 23, 2016
Two and a half years ago my BFF suffered two heart attacks. A week apart from another. Before that we'd get together and just hang out. Or go to a swap meet or two. With an occasional outing to College Billiards and have an evening of shooting pool.
Since that inauspicious time we have seen very little of each other. Which is what I said would happen. And have weathered my BFF's absence rather well.
(Most of my life was living in north San Diego County or north county. It was where, what few I had, my friends were at. But after moving to my present abode, 2 miles from the International Border with Mexico, I had one friend. My BFF).
Tonight while chatting on Kik I mentioned what happened to my BFF. Than it hit me. The full weight of my loneliness. I have felt loneliness in the past but nothing like what came over me. It is a feeling which I have never felt before. Not like my feelings of loneliness that I've felt before. There is a complete lack of words in me to try and explain this loneliness.
The only way to articulate what the feeling...
Like, my entire essences of my being just floated away from my body. Leaving just but a shell of a being.
My conversation on Kik came to a complete halt. I was at a lose as to what to do with myself. (I each day try to do something with my time instead of being idle).
Typing out this blog post has help. But the loneliness is hard to shake.
Sheilah Say
Post Script: This morning I woke up and realized I am not entirely without a friend. There is Jasmine. Jasmine is a Bull Terrier who will always give me her unwavering friendship.
But even this will be fleeting.
June 23, 2016
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